so here's the bold truth.....
“Come away with me to a quiet place and find some rest.” – Mark 6:31
He kept saying this to me over and over. I kept ignoring Him.
"I said, Caroline, come away with me to a quiet place and find some rest."
By the 5th time I picked my feet up and began to slowly drag them to that quiet place. Not fast, not running...but dragging them slowly.
A day later I am reading Jennifer Francis' blog and she mentions this....
"Delayed obedience is disobedience. When they hear my voice they are to act".
It slapped my so hard in the face. I kept repeating it over and over. i had been completely disobedient all those days I told God "no" and when i had chosen to walk towards Him but at my own pace.
and i was disgusted with myself. My students try to pull that passive aggressive crap in my class. "ill do what you want but on my time frame not yours"...I had never put it together as "delayed obedience is disobedience".
And when I went to that quiet place....everything became clear. I have been dealing with some things between the Lord and I. About what He is calling me to, what He does not want going on and what He has planned in my future.
But as the conversations have gone on I started to pull back some. At first I didn't realize I was doing it. You see, I received a letter from a blog reader several weeks ago that I have not been able to shake. Haunting me kind of. Though she was trying to be encouraging and loving, I found myself seeing between the lines. Somehow she had come to depend on me and what I wrote as a major tool in her walk with Christ. "if your not growing then I'm not growing" kind of stuff.
And it scared me to death.
So much so I have not been able to write since.
Had I received the letter on a different day, different week I might not have even caught on to the trap satan was setting up for me to fall into. But I am currently doing a Max Lucado study which is all about Jesus and who He was and what He has called us to be.
I have been learning what it means to be Father's sheep and how as His sheep we know His voice. That He knows us by name. That He speaks but many choose not to listen to Him. I had also just studied about sowing the seed and the 4 types of soil. How the responsibility does not fall on the seed (the word of God) or the sower, but on the soil. If the soil is not ready for the seed, it will not grow. If you heart is not prepared to learn you will not grow.
And I began to just sort of fall apart with this writing thing. The woman that wrote me is wrong in her idea of what a true relationship with Christ is like. She is wrong in trying to place false pressure, she is wrong to think that I can make her grow, and she is wrong in depending on others to grow her.
Let me be very clear with you that have somehow believed the lie that God will not talk directly to you. IT IS FALSE.
Do you want to know Him more????
THEN SEEK HIM FOR YOURSELF.
Do you want to grow and have Him change your ugly parts, behaviors and reactions into beautiful parts, behaviors and reactions?
THEN SEEK HIM FOR YOURSELF!
Don't you dare believe satan's lie that He can't change you. Don't you believe satan's lie that He only speaks to the smart or pure or lovely or blah blah blah...... IT'S FALSE.
Max Lucado said this today in my bible study "Some of us have tried to have a daily quiet time and have not been successful. Others of us have a hard time concentrating. And all of us are busy. SO rather than spend time with God, listening for HIS voice, we'll let others spend time with Him and then benefit from their experience. Let them tell us what God is saying....."
He goes on to say "if this is your approach, why are you ok with your spiritual experience being secondhand and not firsthand?"
He ended today saying this "Listening to God is a firsthand experience. When HE asks for your attention, God doesn't want you to send a substitute; HE wants YOU! He wants to spend time with you. And with a little training, your time with God can be the highlight of your day."
I think these statements above express everything I was feeling and have been feeling about blogging. The more I thought things through the more I came to see that if we are seeking our growth with God through blogs and yet never spend time away with Him and the Word...then our priorities are out of line. Like Max said, we are trying to grow off of other people's growth. Trying to eat other people's spiritual food.
No wonder we still feel empty at the end of the day. No wonder we read this blog or that blog and feel all joyous in Christ and then 10 minutes later.... back to feeling like crap and like God is so far away.
We aren't eating the food He has set out just for us. We are trying to steal off somebody else's plate. Does that makes sense????? We aren't hearing straight from God. We are choosing to hear from Him secondhand and that was never His ultimate intention.
Yes, God can speak directly to us through others! That is not what I'm addressing. I'm addressing the issue of choosing to “Come away with Him to a quiet place and find some rest.” Us choosing to sit, ALONE, with God and let Him teach us one on one. To be with Him and to pray. To tell Him about your day and why your feel this or that. To let Him show you what He wants to show you...not what you choose to read on a blog and then pretend it was meant just for you.
To walk your own walk with God.
To hear directly from Him things He is not telling another soul.
To grow from Him firsthand beyond a bible study, devotional book, or blog.
To have your own song/story that He actively tells you about while you sit alone with Him.
Because the big fat problem, right now, is that we would rather someone else do the work and then try to see if we can live off their faith....eat their food.
It will never work. Our God is a God of relationship. A God of deep intimate conversations that you would NEVER have with a single person on this earth. And when I begin to see that what was once a writing "blessing" to me is possibly a "hindrance" to another I want to back away and clear the air.
Because this blogs can and do minister to others. But only as an added support for your walk with Christ not the full foundation.
I fear that with our "NOW" mentality we have discovered that it is more fun and way easier to read a blog about someone else's relationship with God than it is to have our own relationship with Him.
It's also that "reality tv" mentality towards being a believer in Christ....way more fun to watch it play out then to actually participate.
I am completely grossed out by it. Not only does it leave me and others feeling used but also seeking great forgiveness where this blog or others have become a stumbling block. How foolish I have been to think that what God was teaching me would only draw others into a deeper walk with Him.......instead some have tried to use this space as a substitute.
So I say this from the bottom of my heart.....I love you and I love that you choose to read. But I would take this blog down in a second should God say "down". This is my Father's space and the words that you read are the words that He speaks to me. My desire is that you would read what is going on in my life and then run as fast as you can to sit alone with God and see what He is up to in your life. That this blog would some how be a strong fragrance to your soul so that you long for Father more.
Long for your own relationship with Him.
Long for your own story to blog about.
Seek Him for yourself. Don't be afraid. Don't long for someone else's story. He has one just for you. Go, be alone with Him and let Him speak. Let your soil/heart be open and ready to change what needs to change and to let His word grow inside of you!
Stop pretending.
Stop stealing.
Start seeking.
Matthew 7.7 says "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you."
Oh Lord what a mess my heart has been lately. I thank you for continuing to call me to come away with you to a quiet place. I praise you for opening my eyes to some of the issues going on surrounding the blog world. I thank you Lord for this space you have given me and for showing me that it can be of great blessing when our priorities are in line and it can be of great DISASTER when our priorities are crazy. Lord, your words say "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart"...... give us all a desire to seek you on our own. Give each reader the knowledge and understanding of where to begin when it comes to a daily walk with you. Teach us how to really pray and how to fall in love with your Word......to long for you. Let us not envy what you have done in some one's heart but go seeking for you to do it in our hearts.
God, you are honored and glorified not when we spend hours reading something that has nothing to do with kingdom business, but when we spend time with you. At the end of the day, all that reading will mean nothing. Teach us to want to spend more time with you above all other things. Draw us in. Make us have to step it up in the spiritual growth department. I love you Lord. I thank you for making me work this all out. Thank you for making me deal with the issue that was there and for making me aware. I want you to speak through me. I want to be used by you but I don't want to be an easy excuse for others to not grow. Put our priorities in order so that your name is glorified. Organize this post, Lord. Let it read clearly to those that need to hear it and close the eyes of those that don't. Thank you Lord for speaking and for giving me the opportunity to share. I love you. I trust you. Amen.
He kept saying this to me over and over. I kept ignoring Him.
"I said, Caroline, come away with me to a quiet place and find some rest."
By the 5th time I picked my feet up and began to slowly drag them to that quiet place. Not fast, not running...but dragging them slowly.
A day later I am reading Jennifer Francis' blog and she mentions this....
"Delayed obedience is disobedience. When they hear my voice they are to act".
It slapped my so hard in the face. I kept repeating it over and over. i had been completely disobedient all those days I told God "no" and when i had chosen to walk towards Him but at my own pace.
and i was disgusted with myself. My students try to pull that passive aggressive crap in my class. "ill do what you want but on my time frame not yours"...I had never put it together as "delayed obedience is disobedience".
And when I went to that quiet place....everything became clear. I have been dealing with some things between the Lord and I. About what He is calling me to, what He does not want going on and what He has planned in my future.
But as the conversations have gone on I started to pull back some. At first I didn't realize I was doing it. You see, I received a letter from a blog reader several weeks ago that I have not been able to shake. Haunting me kind of. Though she was trying to be encouraging and loving, I found myself seeing between the lines. Somehow she had come to depend on me and what I wrote as a major tool in her walk with Christ. "if your not growing then I'm not growing" kind of stuff.
And it scared me to death.
So much so I have not been able to write since.
Had I received the letter on a different day, different week I might not have even caught on to the trap satan was setting up for me to fall into. But I am currently doing a Max Lucado study which is all about Jesus and who He was and what He has called us to be.
I have been learning what it means to be Father's sheep and how as His sheep we know His voice. That He knows us by name. That He speaks but many choose not to listen to Him. I had also just studied about sowing the seed and the 4 types of soil. How the responsibility does not fall on the seed (the word of God) or the sower, but on the soil. If the soil is not ready for the seed, it will not grow. If you heart is not prepared to learn you will not grow.
And I began to just sort of fall apart with this writing thing. The woman that wrote me is wrong in her idea of what a true relationship with Christ is like. She is wrong in trying to place false pressure, she is wrong to think that I can make her grow, and she is wrong in depending on others to grow her.
Let me be very clear with you that have somehow believed the lie that God will not talk directly to you. IT IS FALSE.
Do you want to know Him more????
THEN SEEK HIM FOR YOURSELF.
Do you want to grow and have Him change your ugly parts, behaviors and reactions into beautiful parts, behaviors and reactions?
THEN SEEK HIM FOR YOURSELF!
Don't you dare believe satan's lie that He can't change you. Don't you believe satan's lie that He only speaks to the smart or pure or lovely or blah blah blah...... IT'S FALSE.
Max Lucado said this today in my bible study "Some of us have tried to have a daily quiet time and have not been successful. Others of us have a hard time concentrating. And all of us are busy. SO rather than spend time with God, listening for HIS voice, we'll let others spend time with Him and then benefit from their experience. Let them tell us what God is saying....."
He goes on to say "if this is your approach, why are you ok with your spiritual experience being secondhand and not firsthand?"
He ended today saying this "Listening to God is a firsthand experience. When HE asks for your attention, God doesn't want you to send a substitute; HE wants YOU! He wants to spend time with you. And with a little training, your time with God can be the highlight of your day."
I think these statements above express everything I was feeling and have been feeling about blogging. The more I thought things through the more I came to see that if we are seeking our growth with God through blogs and yet never spend time away with Him and the Word...then our priorities are out of line. Like Max said, we are trying to grow off of other people's growth. Trying to eat other people's spiritual food.
No wonder we still feel empty at the end of the day. No wonder we read this blog or that blog and feel all joyous in Christ and then 10 minutes later.... back to feeling like crap and like God is so far away.
We aren't eating the food He has set out just for us. We are trying to steal off somebody else's plate. Does that makes sense????? We aren't hearing straight from God. We are choosing to hear from Him secondhand and that was never His ultimate intention.
Yes, God can speak directly to us through others! That is not what I'm addressing. I'm addressing the issue of choosing to “Come away with Him to a quiet place and find some rest.” Us choosing to sit, ALONE, with God and let Him teach us one on one. To be with Him and to pray. To tell Him about your day and why your feel this or that. To let Him show you what He wants to show you...not what you choose to read on a blog and then pretend it was meant just for you.
To walk your own walk with God.
To hear directly from Him things He is not telling another soul.
To grow from Him firsthand beyond a bible study, devotional book, or blog.
To have your own song/story that He actively tells you about while you sit alone with Him.
Because the big fat problem, right now, is that we would rather someone else do the work and then try to see if we can live off their faith....eat their food.
It will never work. Our God is a God of relationship. A God of deep intimate conversations that you would NEVER have with a single person on this earth. And when I begin to see that what was once a writing "blessing" to me is possibly a "hindrance" to another I want to back away and clear the air.
Because this blogs can and do minister to others. But only as an added support for your walk with Christ not the full foundation.
I fear that with our "NOW" mentality we have discovered that it is more fun and way easier to read a blog about someone else's relationship with God than it is to have our own relationship with Him.
It's also that "reality tv" mentality towards being a believer in Christ....way more fun to watch it play out then to actually participate.
I am completely grossed out by it. Not only does it leave me and others feeling used but also seeking great forgiveness where this blog or others have become a stumbling block. How foolish I have been to think that what God was teaching me would only draw others into a deeper walk with Him.......instead some have tried to use this space as a substitute.
So I say this from the bottom of my heart.....I love you and I love that you choose to read. But I would take this blog down in a second should God say "down". This is my Father's space and the words that you read are the words that He speaks to me. My desire is that you would read what is going on in my life and then run as fast as you can to sit alone with God and see what He is up to in your life. That this blog would some how be a strong fragrance to your soul so that you long for Father more.
Long for your own relationship with Him.
Long for your own story to blog about.
Seek Him for yourself. Don't be afraid. Don't long for someone else's story. He has one just for you. Go, be alone with Him and let Him speak. Let your soil/heart be open and ready to change what needs to change and to let His word grow inside of you!
Stop pretending.
Stop stealing.
Start seeking.
Matthew 7.7 says "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you."
Oh Lord what a mess my heart has been lately. I thank you for continuing to call me to come away with you to a quiet place. I praise you for opening my eyes to some of the issues going on surrounding the blog world. I thank you Lord for this space you have given me and for showing me that it can be of great blessing when our priorities are in line and it can be of great DISASTER when our priorities are crazy. Lord, your words say "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart"...... give us all a desire to seek you on our own. Give each reader the knowledge and understanding of where to begin when it comes to a daily walk with you. Teach us how to really pray and how to fall in love with your Word......to long for you. Let us not envy what you have done in some one's heart but go seeking for you to do it in our hearts.
God, you are honored and glorified not when we spend hours reading something that has nothing to do with kingdom business, but when we spend time with you. At the end of the day, all that reading will mean nothing. Teach us to want to spend more time with you above all other things. Draw us in. Make us have to step it up in the spiritual growth department. I love you Lord. I thank you for making me work this all out. Thank you for making me deal with the issue that was there and for making me aware. I want you to speak through me. I want to be used by you but I don't want to be an easy excuse for others to not grow. Put our priorities in order so that your name is glorified. Organize this post, Lord. Let it read clearly to those that need to hear it and close the eyes of those that don't. Thank you Lord for speaking and for giving me the opportunity to share. I love you. I trust you. Amen.