PRIDE
This will be brief due to the long list of things I need to have done before I head out of town Tuesday. Plus I am just writing as it comes because I need to get it off my chest...sorry in advance if it is not clear.
I did not intentionally shy away from blogging this week. Just didn't have anything to say and to be completely honest my students were driving me crazy and my hormones were at an unusually heightened state. All that to say that I just was not myself. In "survival mode" is what I call it.
Interestingly enough my time in the Word has been amazing this week. However, on Thursday morning I had just gotten up and was heading to turn on the coffee pot. On the way back, to get in the shower, I stopped by the laundry room to get my make-up bag. I literally had one eye open and to explain how NOT awake I was.........I had just filled my coffee filter with splenda instead of coffee...REALLY CAROLINE???? Anyway, I turned on the light and looked down at my school bag to not see my make-up bag but a BRIGHT RED SCRIPTURE PROCLAMATION CARD WITH PRIDE written at the top.
"Pride goes before destruction, And a haughty spirit before stumbling".
Proverbs 16.18
on the side of the card I had written years ago..........
"When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom".
Proverbs 11.2
which I then had written GET WISDOM really big.
You must know that I did not bend down and pick it up to read. The writing was large enough for me to just glance at it from where I was standing. Even through sleepy eyes. Every word on that card-stock hit me right in the face.
As I turned to go to the shower I just started praying out loud and confessing any sin that I had neglected to confuse before Him because a very HEALTHY FEAR OF GOD was all over me.
Because you see, I know better then to let sin sit. I spent so many years not humbling myself before Him and having Him humble me OVER AND OVER, that I completely took this little paper as a VERY LOUD WARNING from a VERY FIRM BUT LOVING GOD! It is that desperate need to be purged of all the ugliness that lingers around you and desire for Him to prune what does not belong. Because I believe, like most of you, that pride is at the root of all sin.
Then today at church my pastor was talking about giving love outside the box. That we must stop choosing who we love or who is undeserving of our love because they don't fit the descriptions or diameter of our box....including God.
And for a very particular area of my life I really needed to hear this today. Because God is not going to humble Himself and try to fit into my box of how things should go or what I think I need. NO WAY.............and the box I set up in my mind is just a cage. If I think that "this" should go "this" way then I have set myself up for not only failure BUT MISERY and CAPTIVITY!
Because a box-less life is a God filled life. If I am not on guard then my unchecked pride sneaks out and before I am even aware, I have put my God in a box and my soul screams..."I KNOW BETTER THAN YOU".........
and that just isn't true. I don't want boxes in my life. I don't want a box for how I think this blog should operate, and I don't want a box for the way my personal life should play out, and I don't want a box about how I think God should answer each pray I petition. The Holy Spirit kept saying to me.... "Yield to me, Yield to my plans, Yield to my ways Caroline because I love you with an EVERLASTING LOVE."
And that is True. I am praising Father because He loves us so much that He would use a little card-stock square to redirect me tenderly before the pride issue enlarges to the point of my sin causing separation between us..............which is why a RELATIONSHIP with God is everything. Because if I did not spend time with Him then my heart would have seen that card and been like..."how did that get there?" then I would have just moved it without bothering to read it. I would have missed the tender warning that I needed to square my shoulders up with God so that I am following His steps!
And the message today about boxed love........how it just goes hand in hand with pride. God said to love one another not just those that fit in our prideful self centered boxes!
Amen right? Man this really hits me in a personal way but praise Him for making me aware!
Lord, I am yours. I am in complete need of you and I HATE PRIDE. THIS I KNOW! Oh forgive me for my silly plans or the ways I set up fake boundaries that you did not authorize. Love others THROUGH ME! Give me a supernatural love that covers a multitude of sin. Forgive me for getting wrapped up in things that are Not Kingdom Business and forgive me for trying to take control. I heard your warning loud and clear and I thank you for that warning. Oh how you love us God. Continue to use this Christmas break as not only a time to celebrate you but a time for us to draw closer together. I want to learn from you and I want to not be the same as I was yesterday. Keep my faith moving forward. Get rid of all the baggage that I pick up that does not belong and set me free. I love you Lord and I thank you that through your warnings my love for you increases and my desire to know you deeply multiplies! Because you are Worthy of it all! amen
I did not intentionally shy away from blogging this week. Just didn't have anything to say and to be completely honest my students were driving me crazy and my hormones were at an unusually heightened state. All that to say that I just was not myself. In "survival mode" is what I call it.
Interestingly enough my time in the Word has been amazing this week. However, on Thursday morning I had just gotten up and was heading to turn on the coffee pot. On the way back, to get in the shower, I stopped by the laundry room to get my make-up bag. I literally had one eye open and to explain how NOT awake I was.........I had just filled my coffee filter with splenda instead of coffee...REALLY CAROLINE???? Anyway, I turned on the light and looked down at my school bag to not see my make-up bag but a BRIGHT RED SCRIPTURE PROCLAMATION CARD WITH PRIDE written at the top.
"Pride goes before destruction, And a haughty spirit before stumbling".
Proverbs 16.18
on the side of the card I had written years ago..........
"When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom".
Proverbs 11.2
which I then had written GET WISDOM really big.
You must know that I did not bend down and pick it up to read. The writing was large enough for me to just glance at it from where I was standing. Even through sleepy eyes. Every word on that card-stock hit me right in the face.
As I turned to go to the shower I just started praying out loud and confessing any sin that I had neglected to confuse before Him because a very HEALTHY FEAR OF GOD was all over me.
Because you see, I know better then to let sin sit. I spent so many years not humbling myself before Him and having Him humble me OVER AND OVER, that I completely took this little paper as a VERY LOUD WARNING from a VERY FIRM BUT LOVING GOD! It is that desperate need to be purged of all the ugliness that lingers around you and desire for Him to prune what does not belong. Because I believe, like most of you, that pride is at the root of all sin.
Then today at church my pastor was talking about giving love outside the box. That we must stop choosing who we love or who is undeserving of our love because they don't fit the descriptions or diameter of our box....including God.
And for a very particular area of my life I really needed to hear this today. Because God is not going to humble Himself and try to fit into my box of how things should go or what I think I need. NO WAY.............and the box I set up in my mind is just a cage. If I think that "this" should go "this" way then I have set myself up for not only failure BUT MISERY and CAPTIVITY!
Because a box-less life is a God filled life. If I am not on guard then my unchecked pride sneaks out and before I am even aware, I have put my God in a box and my soul screams..."I KNOW BETTER THAN YOU".........
and that just isn't true. I don't want boxes in my life. I don't want a box for how I think this blog should operate, and I don't want a box for the way my personal life should play out, and I don't want a box about how I think God should answer each pray I petition. The Holy Spirit kept saying to me.... "Yield to me, Yield to my plans, Yield to my ways Caroline because I love you with an EVERLASTING LOVE."
And that is True. I am praising Father because He loves us so much that He would use a little card-stock square to redirect me tenderly before the pride issue enlarges to the point of my sin causing separation between us..............which is why a RELATIONSHIP with God is everything. Because if I did not spend time with Him then my heart would have seen that card and been like..."how did that get there?" then I would have just moved it without bothering to read it. I would have missed the tender warning that I needed to square my shoulders up with God so that I am following His steps!
And the message today about boxed love........how it just goes hand in hand with pride. God said to love one another not just those that fit in our prideful self centered boxes!
Amen right? Man this really hits me in a personal way but praise Him for making me aware!
Lord, I am yours. I am in complete need of you and I HATE PRIDE. THIS I KNOW! Oh forgive me for my silly plans or the ways I set up fake boundaries that you did not authorize. Love others THROUGH ME! Give me a supernatural love that covers a multitude of sin. Forgive me for getting wrapped up in things that are Not Kingdom Business and forgive me for trying to take control. I heard your warning loud and clear and I thank you for that warning. Oh how you love us God. Continue to use this Christmas break as not only a time to celebrate you but a time for us to draw closer together. I want to learn from you and I want to not be the same as I was yesterday. Keep my faith moving forward. Get rid of all the baggage that I pick up that does not belong and set me free. I love you Lord and I thank you that through your warnings my love for you increases and my desire to know you deeply multiplies! Because you are Worthy of it all! amen