A little word from my heart...or a lot ha!
My writers conference last weekend was wonderful. I laugh thinking about all the writing professionals there that would come up to you and say..." So what have you had published?" You can imagine the look on their face when my response was always..."Actually I blog".......blank look....awkward pause...."and I am really here because God said Go and I said ok".........blank look.....awkward pause...hahahhahahhaha
Bless their hearts, they were all so nice but all SOOOOO SERIOUS about getting published and the thought of writing a book made me want run for the hills and chill. I did, however, attend two great classes on woman's ministry and speaking and I enjoyed listening to what they had to say. There is a whole side of writing or ministering that is business. I minister from the heart God gave me.......and to bring business in it made me sick to my stomach. Still does but I understand that it is also peoples lively hood. It was just interesting to see all the sides and what it entails....lots.......
HOWEVER, I love that I do freely, without contracts or obligations, without deadlines and book pitches, without funding or the ability to not cry every time you share with others how much God has changed your life...write on this blog and let Him move if He so chooses to move. That is what brings peace to my soul and a smile to my face.
I am so thankful that you stop by and read. I told the Lord this morning that if He never let me write things other than the blog that I would be grateful and appreciative that He gave me this one outlet. He gave me this blog as a gift. I never had an outlet to share all that I was learning or struggling with. I have always shared with family or friends around me but even then they don't always understand and by the time you are done sharing your heart you have either lost them or they just sit there looking at you. Your heart falls even though you did not need their affirmation and you think "why did I even bother". But this blog has been the most freeing thing for me. I get to be used by God, put a post up and just let it go...let it minister where it needs to and not have to put hope in the person sitting in front of me to "get it". God does all the work.
I am also so thankful for my parents that are my biggest fans. You know, I never share about my blog with others. Ha! Sometimes I do but rarely. My mom, however, is not shy to share it and I love that. It is such a personal space for me that it is weird for me to be like..."hey, read my blog and look into me soul"....I may be a Sanguine personality but I can be super shy when it comes to things like this blog......at work, church, not many know about it . I am so grateful to have people like my parents that tell others about it and those of you that link to me. I thank you for doing that.
This verse is really working on my heart these days......
Bless their hearts, they were all so nice but all SOOOOO SERIOUS about getting published and the thought of writing a book made me want run for the hills and chill. I did, however, attend two great classes on woman's ministry and speaking and I enjoyed listening to what they had to say. There is a whole side of writing or ministering that is business. I minister from the heart God gave me.......and to bring business in it made me sick to my stomach. Still does but I understand that it is also peoples lively hood. It was just interesting to see all the sides and what it entails....lots.......
HOWEVER, I love that I do freely, without contracts or obligations, without deadlines and book pitches, without funding or the ability to not cry every time you share with others how much God has changed your life...write on this blog and let Him move if He so chooses to move. That is what brings peace to my soul and a smile to my face.
I am so thankful that you stop by and read. I told the Lord this morning that if He never let me write things other than the blog that I would be grateful and appreciative that He gave me this one outlet. He gave me this blog as a gift. I never had an outlet to share all that I was learning or struggling with. I have always shared with family or friends around me but even then they don't always understand and by the time you are done sharing your heart you have either lost them or they just sit there looking at you. Your heart falls even though you did not need their affirmation and you think "why did I even bother". But this blog has been the most freeing thing for me. I get to be used by God, put a post up and just let it go...let it minister where it needs to and not have to put hope in the person sitting in front of me to "get it". God does all the work.
I am also so thankful for my parents that are my biggest fans. You know, I never share about my blog with others. Ha! Sometimes I do but rarely. My mom, however, is not shy to share it and I love that. It is such a personal space for me that it is weird for me to be like..."hey, read my blog and look into me soul"....I may be a Sanguine personality but I can be super shy when it comes to things like this blog......at work, church, not many know about it . I am so grateful to have people like my parents that tell others about it and those of you that link to me. I thank you for doing that.
This verse is really working on my heart these days......
"Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth.
But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise;
God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.
He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him.
It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption.
Therefore, as it is written: "Let him who boasts boast in the Lord."
But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise;
God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.
He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him.
It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption.
Therefore, as it is written: "Let him who boasts boast in the Lord."
1 Cor 1:26-31
Is that not good or what? We were nothing when we were called to follow Christ, or start this job, or serve in this ministry, or write this book, or be a mom, or be a wife. We were not wise but He can make us wise. We were nothing and then He makes us a SOMETHING! I don't know about you but my future right now is all over the place. I have these desires in my heart that are not from me and honestly do not fit into a plan or idea that I have going on in my head. I am in the middle of a season of being pulled a million different places by God with absolutely NO IDEA WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON! I have these heart desires and these outside opportunities that are sometimes playing together and sometimes against each other. I know that is vague..I hate to be vague but really if I wrote out the whole struggle you would think I was crazy.
And you see, I just want whatever the Lord wants. He can totally use me if He so chooses. I am not losing sleep at night over that fact. It's all the other tests of faith that begin to make you say.." Father this could not be so..........how would this ever work... I don't know anything..." and this verse has been a light to me.......God can use all my insecurity about writing this or doing that to destroy what the world considers important. He can use me to put the worldly wise to shame because I am His child and He will give me reason to boast in Him. I know that He will.
And you see, I just want whatever the Lord wants. He can totally use me if He so chooses. I am not losing sleep at night over that fact. It's all the other tests of faith that begin to make you say.." Father this could not be so..........how would this ever work... I don't know anything..." and this verse has been a light to me.......God can use all my insecurity about writing this or doing that to destroy what the world considers important. He can use me to put the worldly wise to shame because I am His child and He will give me reason to boast in Him. I know that He will.
As I was sitting in these different classes, last Friday, I kept reading over a passage of scripture, that I believe and was then confirmed by the Holy Spirit, to be my life verse.....or ministry verse... or the theme of my life no matter what I am doing....
"The end of all things is near.
Therefore be clear minded and self-controlled so that you can pray.
Above all, love each other deeply,
because love covers over a multitude of sins.
Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling.
Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms.
If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God.
If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ.
To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen."
1 Peter 4:7-11
This is MY section of scripture. This scripture opens up with a SENSE OF URGENCY! ALL THINGS ARE NEAR.....The more I read it the more the words jump out at me and the more I think about this verse the more excited I get! You see............these things listed above are all things that I DO NOT DO WELL! Yes, I can and do love people......but there are people in my life that are hard to love. But 1 Peter says that loves covers.......and my job is not to push them back or to talk about all the ways they DRIVE ME CRAZY...NO.....my job is to surround them and to help cover and shield them from things or people. To teach them to flee from sin and to encourage them to walk forward in faith.
Be clear minded and self controlled so you can pray....for me that means to continue to allow God to disciple me in the boundaries He sets up. To stay up to date in my confessions of sin to Him and to continue to seek Him to fight my strongholds instead of fighting them myself. TO BE FREE.....even in the midst of crisis so that I can pray.........and have prayer that moves mountains!
What ever gifts you have been given use them to serve others..........I am been struggling with serving/service. The more and more I have studied about serving over the last few weeks the more my head has wanted to explode. Acts of Service is not my spiritual gift at all....it just isn't were God uses me. My first reaction to a situation is prayer or encouragement but not really making a meal or another service. I do wish this was something I had more of. But God gives us all different spiritual gifts. My reason to study "service" was because many get the two, acts of service and service, confused. Now, we are all called to serve one another in many capacities within the church, within believers, and among the lost. That I understand. What I have the biggest issue with lately is saying "No" to something that I know the Lord does not want me to be involved in...you know like events or leadership at church or other things like that....and people giving me the same "look of shock" every time I kindly decline. At first I was taken back when I explained that God requires an amount of time with Him each day and that I need to be open to listen to Him when it is time to write.......and the dead look washes over their face as if they could not possibly understand why I would give up serving on this committee to spend time with Jesus. They are getting "acts of service" mixed up with service and putting the act before the other spiritual gifts. Remember that we are the BODY of Christ with everyone being a different part so that we all work together.
So....in relation to what God is doing in me and the paths He is setting before me......serving is going to take many different forms......Serving others through my time of study so that I can share or serving as a prayer warrior on my knees. So I am learning to stand my ground and not be afraid to say "No".
What ever gifts you have been given use them to serve others..........I am been struggling with serving/service. The more and more I have studied about serving over the last few weeks the more my head has wanted to explode. Acts of Service is not my spiritual gift at all....it just isn't were God uses me. My first reaction to a situation is prayer or encouragement but not really making a meal or another service. I do wish this was something I had more of. But God gives us all different spiritual gifts. My reason to study "service" was because many get the two, acts of service and service, confused. Now, we are all called to serve one another in many capacities within the church, within believers, and among the lost. That I understand. What I have the biggest issue with lately is saying "No" to something that I know the Lord does not want me to be involved in...you know like events or leadership at church or other things like that....and people giving me the same "look of shock" every time I kindly decline. At first I was taken back when I explained that God requires an amount of time with Him each day and that I need to be open to listen to Him when it is time to write.......and the dead look washes over their face as if they could not possibly understand why I would give up serving on this committee to spend time with Jesus. They are getting "acts of service" mixed up with service and putting the act before the other spiritual gifts. Remember that we are the BODY of Christ with everyone being a different part so that we all work together.
So....in relation to what God is doing in me and the paths He is setting before me......serving is going to take many different forms......Serving others through my time of study so that I can share or serving as a prayer warrior on my knees. So I am learning to stand my ground and not be afraid to say "No".
If anyone speaks or serves..........do it as to speak the words of God and do it with the strength God provides...........and this part changes me the most. I can't speak, serve, minister, pray, encourage, love deeply, point others to Christ, disciple, praise, SHOW HOSPITALITY, chase after, or fulfill the calling on my life if I do not allow God all access to do it through me.
I can't do any of these things. Seriously....this is not some false humility thing. But this entire 1 Peter section of scripture is the perfect recipe for my life or whatever area of ministry He calls me to. I can't...but He can....and when He does...He gets all the praise.
And I love this verse. I want God to do all these things through me. I am asking Him to MOVE! I am asking Him to move even when I am afraid. I am asking Him to move even when I have a moment of panic. And lastly, I am thanking Him that He continues to push me out of my comfort zone. He has never let me be afraid to do something different from others my age or to take the unbeaten path. So whether I am blogging, praying, or working with women........I will do what He asks and trust His protection.
Amen.
Oh Father, this was long and I am not so sure any of it makes sense. You are up to something with me. I don't have a clue but I am ok with that. I just want to be used by you. That is it. I don't need a book or people know me to get joy. I HAVE JOY. You are my joy and I just ask that you continue to make me do the hard things so that I build up my courage. I love you Lord. I thank you that YOUR PATH is so much more fun and your story for me is WAY MORE EXCITING! Use me to point others to You. Use me to do your work...and I will BOAST IN YOU all the way into your presence! Amen!