Pivoting- immediate change in direction
A thankful heart......."I WILL RESCUE YOU"......"Obey ME and I...YOUR GOD...will show my POWER to SAVE". I am not even sure where I should begin and where to go with what has been going on the last 2 weeks. I want to first thank those of you that have emailed in concern. You are so sweet to me and know that when I am not posting it means God doesn't want me to. Simple as that. Jessica and Stephanie...you know who you are...I have been praying for you since I received your emails. Forgive me for not emailing you back yet...I have been consumed in others areas and I honestly had no words to share with you at that time. All I could do was pray for what you requested. You both will hear from me very soon!
2 weeks ago my thoughts were on one side of the road I thought was less traveled. Everything that God was teaching me, at that time, pertained to what the road led to. I was a very happy girl with this road.
Excitement began to build and God began to wash over me peace, comfort and words of affirmation that THIS ROAD LEADS TO LIFE! That this road would be a major part of my future and were He was leading me to serve Him more. I could hardly wait to receive the next steps of instructions from Him and KNEW without a SHADOW OF A DOUBT that I was in complete obedience to His Will for me.
Without warning....within minutes.....the door was shut so fast that my hair flew back and my eyes went bugged. "what just happened, Lord? What just happened? Did I just see that right? Did this just happen to me? You told me to step forward and I did. You told me to not Fear and I did not. What is going on, Lord? Help me understand WHAT JUST HAPPENED?" and just like that I was left standing in a new place with a new direction and a completely different journey ahead. "I will Rescue you Caroline! Just FOLLOW ME!"
At first I thought I was at a fork in the road. 
Funny isn't it that in crisis mode we actually think we have some control. ha! Seriously, I thought that I might still get to choose what He had clearly shut the door on. That issue is a whole other blog post that I just don't have the energy to write but if you are reading and still hanging on to what God has clearly said N-O... NO NO NO NO to then just obey. He is not kidding when He says no and the freedom and peace will not come over you till you listen and obey. TRUST ME ON THIS! Move on.
Anyway, I struggled and struggled with the fact that every move and decision in my heart and head lined up with the Word of God and was confirmed by Him..........but instead of seeing it through I was taken out of the equation immediately and without warning.
Pivot-
-any thing or person on which something or someone functions or depends vitally: He is the pivot of my life.
Pivot-
-any thing or person on which something or someone functions or depends vitally: He is the pivot of my life.
-the person in a line, as of troops on parade, whom the others use as a point about which to wheel or maneuver.
-a whirling about on one foot.
An ABRUPT TURN IN A NEW DIRECTION! To the right or left or sometimes back the way we came. I had read about God suddenly picking us up and turning us in a whole new direction just last week in my Esther study. If my memory servers correct it was in session 3 viewer guide. Beth said..."as God sheds light on the next pathways of our destiny.....more times than not, He will turn us on the next part of the path on the very heals of crisis. Walking in the light of God we enter a crisis and Christ pivots us on our heal to move toward a different direction. If life was going this way we would just keep going but He uses a crisis to turn us to a new path that we will later see was critical to the path! He picks us up and set us in a new direction and it will often be crisis that God uses to pivot us. We were left here to not be special but USEFUL, the pivot is critical to where He wants to take us!"
A week ago I did not personally relate to a "SUDDEN DOOR SHUT IN THE FACE- TURN YOU ON A NEW DIRECTION WITHIN MINUTES AND SET YOU OFF ON A NEW JOURNEY".. but this evening I know it very personally. I am starting over in an area of my life that I honestly just want it to be over with because my life is not about this one thing...but about serving God and giving Him Glory! But I am back to square one and at the end of the day I know, that I know, that I know that GOD IS UP TO SOMETHING GOOD and as much as I hate not getting my way or getting the answer I think is best...................reality sets in and I recall all the wonderful things My God has provided for me, protected me from, guided me to, and the blessing that came from accepting His "No" answers!. I prayed for His will to be done on earth as it is in heaven and He answered me with a no. And even this morning I just feel Father saying to me......"No Caroline, this is not going to be part of the journey I have for you. I'm turning you in a new direction. You were faithful to Me and what I asked of you but I love you to much to let you stay to long in this. It's just a small part of your story. So today, replay all that has just happened and you will see just how my I love You. Trust me on this. My "no" is a good "no" because I love you THAT MUCH!"
A week ago I did not personally relate to a "SUDDEN DOOR SHUT IN THE FACE- TURN YOU ON A NEW DIRECTION WITHIN MINUTES AND SET YOU OFF ON A NEW JOURNEY".. but this evening I know it very personally. I am starting over in an area of my life that I honestly just want it to be over with because my life is not about this one thing...but about serving God and giving Him Glory! But I am back to square one and at the end of the day I know, that I know, that I know that GOD IS UP TO SOMETHING GOOD and as much as I hate not getting my way or getting the answer I think is best...................reality sets in and I recall all the wonderful things My God has provided for me, protected me from, guided me to, and the blessing that came from accepting His "No" answers!. I prayed for His will to be done on earth as it is in heaven and He answered me with a no. And even this morning I just feel Father saying to me......"No Caroline, this is not going to be part of the journey I have for you. I'm turning you in a new direction. You were faithful to Me and what I asked of you but I love you to much to let you stay to long in this. It's just a small part of your story. So today, replay all that has just happened and you will see just how my I love You. Trust me on this. My "no" is a good "no" because I love you THAT MUCH!" Oh Father is so right. I want to be a brat and kick and scream because I prayed one thing and He granted me an answer........ but because it wasn't what I wanted...... I get upset.....Oh the Power of Prayer. That 'upset' behavior gets on my nerves. BECAUSE I know all to well that God is in control. That my life is not mine but His and i know that because His Word says....Galatians 2:19-21 "For through the law I died to the law so that I might live for God. I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me". and Ps 119:105 "Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path". and Ps 23 "The LORD is MY shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, HE LEADS ME beside quiet waters, HE RESTORES MY SOUL. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake".
If I did things my way I would be constantly making decisions based on feelings and getting my feelings hurt every other day. I would be a mess and completely unhappy. But I choose to live by faith. I choose to yield to Him daily because He is trustworthy, honorable, and above all.... MY SHIELD! Praise God I can just give issues to Him and let Him do the hard work. So, now I am sitting here with a blank canvas. No idea what tomorrow brings and NO IDEA where this road leads. Hurt heart feeling better and joy starting to be restored....where He leads, I will go.....because HE knows best at ALL TIMES!
Father,
I am blown away. I know in a day or two we will be giggling about all this but the wound is still fresh and stinging even though I clearly trust what is happening. I love You. I love that in my most desperate moments of sifting through what is flesh and what is of You.........You are tender with me. You rejoice over me in singing and You love to be the hero. So thank You for whatever is going on right now. Thank You for throwing me a curve ball and thank you for changing my direction. Thank you for the moments leading up to the crisis and the moments after. YOU ARE MY GOD! YOU ARE GOOD and I WILL SERVE YOU! So do what you need to do to heal me up and set me back out. Do what you need to do to get the most service out of me. Beth is right Lord, I am not here to learn about how special I am.......You say we are special.... I'm here to be used by you to get your work done! I know that out of this hurt will come MUCH JOY so lead the way and I will follow! I love you so much. amen!