Date Weekend
I need to get away. I was not aware that a "getaway" was in my future until yesterday in our faculty meeting and God began to invite me to go take some time with Him..... alone. I have no other way to put it but to say that I have been personally invited by my Father to a place that is alone and quiet with Him......a date weekend with just us.
On my drive home yesterday I kept thinking about what I heard the Holy Spirit telling me and just knew that I couldn't possible getaway to a place this weekend. No chance. So I went on about my business yesterday and then headed to church choir. 20 minutes into the practice we are introduced to a song called "A Quiet Place".................seriously, is God not so fun or what. I set there in shock for a second thinking "what is this about Lord?". Then we began to read the words and I could hardly sing due to my tears.............
O Jesus, blest Redeemer,
Sent from the Heart of God,
Hold us, who wait before Thee,
Near to the heart of God.
There is a quiet place,
far from the rapid pace,
Where God can soothe my troubled mind.
Sheltered by tree and flower,
There in my quiet hour
With Him my cares are left behind.
Whether a garden small,
Or mountain tall,
New strength and courage there I find.
Then from this quiet place,
I go prepared to face a new day
With love for all mankind
With love for all mankind.
I hope you actually read the words of the song. It is an old thing. As we sang the words they were like knives in my soul. That is the only way I can describe it. My God was not kidding when He gave me the invitation to spend two days alone with Him. He was not asking me, He was telling me..."Time to retreat Caroline".
I tell you all this ahead of time because after I write this post the computer will go off, phone has already been off since school was over, radio off, tv off........I will spend tonight, Friday...because I took off work, and Saturday in the silence with Him. I am asking that you pray for me over the next two days.
I am in week number two of fighting my time with the Lord. I think that most times I have an overly large amount of hunger for the Word and prayer. Not so much this week. This morning the Lord allowed for me to understand that I am a few steps away from walking into the next stage of my spiritual walk with Him. From past experience I know that these last few steps are ALWAYS the hardest. Right before I have a deep revelation with Father or my faith is invited to go deeper.......I am always seriously attacked by satan. Always. So here I am again and he is throwing the same ole things at me. I am extremely lonely, extremely longing for a spouse to serve with, extremely wanting to take control and find earthly things to fill me up, extremely fighting my earthly flesh and fighting my thoughts that I have not been forgotten. All that silliness is all over me like a static dress. Even last night I was crying over the fact that I have such a deep relationship with the Lord in "these areas" so why can't I have one in "these areas". I think you get the point. Self loathing and pity party for Caroline. blah blah blah. Having spent several days so fixated on what I did not have I was given this very personal invite.
Retreat.............meaning-
a place of privacy; a place affording peace and quiet, a signal to begin a withdrawal from a dangerous position, can be alone, pull back or move away or backward.
To withdrawal from a dangerous position..............how fitting since I am at a place that if I don't allow Him to refocus me then I could be walking into a pit with seconds. My faith grows even in that thought. He has asked me to come away with Him..to withdrawal from a dangerous position to be with Him. Oh how He loves me and oh how I am so grateful that even in this crazy season of uncertainty that He KNOWS WHAT I NEED. HE KNOWS. He knows that I need to feel chosen by somebody and He knows that I need to be loved and He knows that I need encouragement and He knows that I need to be loved on.............He knows all this and because He loves me He has time set aside 2 full days to just be with me. What a mighty GOD we SERVE. Before this weekend has even officially begun, He is already clearing my head/heart to the fact that only He can supply all my needs. Only He. I have just a few steps to take forward and they are going to take everything in me to do so. But I have been here before. On the other side of this "not my normal personality week" is a NEW REVELATION OF WHO GOD IS. A new Word just for me. A NEW ASSIGNMENT or ministry...just a few steps away. A new dimension of faith that is ready for me to take hold of if I just don't let go early.
So please pray over me for Friday and Saturday as I have this date weekend with Father. For refocused mind, a fresh Word, sweet moments of listening to Him and enjoying the silence of the world. I am His very own. I praise and thank Him in advance for knowing me completely! Knowing what my heart needs this very evening. I love Him so.
Father, a whole weekend with just you. Oh I get excited even thinking about it. You take me on the best dates and you love me like no one else could! I can't wait to see what you have planned! I love you!!!! I do, I do!
On my drive home yesterday I kept thinking about what I heard the Holy Spirit telling me and just knew that I couldn't possible getaway to a place this weekend. No chance. So I went on about my business yesterday and then headed to church choir. 20 minutes into the practice we are introduced to a song called "A Quiet Place".................seriously, is God not so fun or what. I set there in shock for a second thinking "what is this about Lord?". Then we began to read the words and I could hardly sing due to my tears.............
O Jesus, blest Redeemer,
Sent from the Heart of God,
Hold us, who wait before Thee,
Near to the heart of God.
There is a quiet place,
far from the rapid pace,
Where God can soothe my troubled mind.
Sheltered by tree and flower,
There in my quiet hour
With Him my cares are left behind.
Whether a garden small,
Or mountain tall,
New strength and courage there I find.
Then from this quiet place,
I go prepared to face a new day
With love for all mankind
With love for all mankind.
I hope you actually read the words of the song. It is an old thing. As we sang the words they were like knives in my soul. That is the only way I can describe it. My God was not kidding when He gave me the invitation to spend two days alone with Him. He was not asking me, He was telling me..."Time to retreat Caroline".
I tell you all this ahead of time because after I write this post the computer will go off, phone has already been off since school was over, radio off, tv off........I will spend tonight, Friday...because I took off work, and Saturday in the silence with Him. I am asking that you pray for me over the next two days.
I am in week number two of fighting my time with the Lord. I think that most times I have an overly large amount of hunger for the Word and prayer. Not so much this week. This morning the Lord allowed for me to understand that I am a few steps away from walking into the next stage of my spiritual walk with Him. From past experience I know that these last few steps are ALWAYS the hardest. Right before I have a deep revelation with Father or my faith is invited to go deeper.......I am always seriously attacked by satan. Always. So here I am again and he is throwing the same ole things at me. I am extremely lonely, extremely longing for a spouse to serve with, extremely wanting to take control and find earthly things to fill me up, extremely fighting my earthly flesh and fighting my thoughts that I have not been forgotten. All that silliness is all over me like a static dress. Even last night I was crying over the fact that I have such a deep relationship with the Lord in "these areas" so why can't I have one in "these areas". I think you get the point. Self loathing and pity party for Caroline. blah blah blah. Having spent several days so fixated on what I did not have I was given this very personal invite.
Retreat.............meaning-
a place of privacy; a place affording peace and quiet, a signal to begin a withdrawal from a dangerous position, can be alone, pull back or move away or backward.
To withdrawal from a dangerous position..............how fitting since I am at a place that if I don't allow Him to refocus me then I could be walking into a pit with seconds. My faith grows even in that thought. He has asked me to come away with Him..to withdrawal from a dangerous position to be with Him. Oh how He loves me and oh how I am so grateful that even in this crazy season of uncertainty that He KNOWS WHAT I NEED. HE KNOWS. He knows that I need to feel chosen by somebody and He knows that I need to be loved and He knows that I need encouragement and He knows that I need to be loved on.............He knows all this and because He loves me He has time set aside 2 full days to just be with me. What a mighty GOD we SERVE. Before this weekend has even officially begun, He is already clearing my head/heart to the fact that only He can supply all my needs. Only He. I have just a few steps to take forward and they are going to take everything in me to do so. But I have been here before. On the other side of this "not my normal personality week" is a NEW REVELATION OF WHO GOD IS. A new Word just for me. A NEW ASSIGNMENT or ministry...just a few steps away. A new dimension of faith that is ready for me to take hold of if I just don't let go early.
So please pray over me for Friday and Saturday as I have this date weekend with Father. For refocused mind, a fresh Word, sweet moments of listening to Him and enjoying the silence of the world. I am His very own. I praise and thank Him in advance for knowing me completely! Knowing what my heart needs this very evening. I love Him so.
Father, a whole weekend with just you. Oh I get excited even thinking about it. You take me on the best dates and you love me like no one else could! I can't wait to see what you have planned! I love you!!!! I do, I do!