Story...Song
Tis the season of busyness. I, for one, am not a fan. Too much going on makes me tired and crazy.......... but the fellowship is always good. This past week's theme, that God continued to talk to me about, had to do with my past and present stage of life. There are times or holidays....like thanksgiving...when we are suppost to be thankful. So everyone lists things they "supposedly" are thankful for and everyone feels warm and fuzzy for like 10 seconds. Then, there are those times when God opens your eyes a little more to see what His hands have been doing and you become so overwhelmed by His blessing in your life that there become no words to describe that incounter with Christ. That has been my week. Praise You.
It is, as if, He has just gone down the list of major blessings He has hand crafted for me and paraded them before me. You must know that it has been a wild ride this week. There is something so amazing about God showing you what He has done previously or in the past. Now, of course, we are thankful people, most of the time, and praise Him for how He provides....>BUT......I have never experienced God saying..."Look at what I did here, and here....and look at this beautiful relationship I put together....and look at this home I made just for you and look at this friendship that brings you joy.................am I not wonderful or what caroline?"
SERIOUSLY....all week long God has been showing off to me and I am loving it. I can't fulling describe it and I know many of you will be like "what is the world is she talking about".....but God has been praising HIMSELF to Me and it is a side of Him I have never EVER incountered.
What joy it was wed night to be able to have my very own praise and worship time infront of Him as He reminded me of how much He has changed me. He followed that up with a big BIG burden to attend a christmas party in Canton......where I graduated High school.....that would be just the girls and children that where in my graduating class. They have the party year after year but there is always a reason that I could not attend. This year, I woke up on friday morning and God said go.........so I did. I would like to show you the pictures from that night first and then tell you how God showed off to me on the way home.
Lynzie and her new baby girl of 5 months...so sweet
Heather and the other moms helping their kids decorate ginger bread stables complete with a Reese's cereal puff Jesus.............I was in heaven......eatable crafts>>>SO MY THING!!!!!
Christa's cute son showing me his teeth!
Randy's son's stable complete with pretzel guns on top to "protect baby Jesus".....darling
Kim, Me, and Christa
Lynzie, Lesley, Tiffany
Group photo of all the moms, kids and me haa!
I had a blast and L-O-V-E-D HOLDING ALL THE BABIES!!!!!!!! At one point during the group picture, Heather turned to me and said..."sorry Caroline, you weren't supposed to be the only one here without kids".........I instantly responded with "Don't worry! I love it and I love watching y'all as mothers. My closest friends are all single so I hardly ever get to be around babies."
As I drove home that night I began to just talk out the evening with Father. All the fun stories and all the updates I had received. I repeated what Heather had said to me and the more and more I thought about it...........the more I realized that YES I was supposed to be the only not married/not a mother there. That was part of His plan. That was part of my Father showing me how glorious He is.
See, my one prayer on the drive to the party was that God would use me to do His work. Even if it was just one small sentence of encouragement to one of them.....or if it was just listening to them....I wanted the time to be used for His purpose. I don't know if He spoke through me to any of them. I don't know if the party had anything to do with them. What I do know is that as I sat and observed each darling mother...girls my own age....God made it COMPLETELY OBVIOUS TO MY HEART AND MIND that I AM DEAD CENTER IN HIS WILL.
I did not leave that party with a heavy heart of longing for what they had. I did not leave that party angry the convos were mainly about children. I did not leave that party feeling alone and isolated. NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I left there feeling ALIVE! This is MY STORY, THIS IS MY SONG! I don't want their story or their song! I want my song.............God's song for me!!!!!! I can hardly even today, stop praising Him for the affirmation that I am dead center in His will. Dead center. And it washes over me with such relief. Cleansing me and easing me the the deepest areas of my soul. My trust is in Him, my longing is in Him. As these desires to just be with Him grow and grow................I long more and MORE to be in His presence...were all fullness of Joy is experienced. Where every longing, every dream, every desire, every craving, every need is fulfilled completely. Then and there I will be able to fully praise Him from the inside out. HE IS MIGHTY. HE KNOWS HE IS MIGHTY and I love that about him. I will not move one step without His guidance or instructions because this SONG He is writing me.....this STORY He is writing me.....leads me straight to Him. AMEN! AMEN!
Oh Lord, what a week. What a week. You did not want me chewing on scripture this week but just looking straight at you. I love you for showing yourself to me in a completely thrilling way. You are so cool and I just love being with you. You have not forgotten me. What a life you have laid out thus far. How you have provided for me not only spiritually but physically provided funds and a job that allows me to live in a nice home and pay the bills. Thank you! Thank you! Right here...this very place is where you want me for now. Thank you for showing me that I must long for my own story in You. Thank you for allowing me to praise you the way you need to be praised this week. Thank you for talking to me and letting me learn from you this week. My life is not my own. I am so glad I don't have to carry that burden. I am yours! Thank you for letting me hear you Praise Yourself and letting me see a WHOLE NEW SIDE OF YOU!!!!. You are so mighty and I love serving you!