On Christ, the Solid Rock, I Stand...
The problem is that I should have been writing the last 5 days about things that have been going on......but I chose to wait....feeling like it just wasn't time, not enough content. I now find myself overwhelmed and somewhat discouraged.
I WANT SO MUCH TO BE ABLE TO THROW SOME PICTURES UP HERE AND TELL A FUNNY STORY. I AM A SANGUINE! WE LOVE DEEPLY AND FREELY AND LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST.................but friends, I am just in an ugly season and I can't hide it even if I wanted to. So please pray me through this time. PLEASE. It is just for now. I can't shake it so I'm just gonna write it out.
I have several things on my mind. One personal, one missional....a few.... just thoughts. Friday a kid turned to me, during class, and yelled that he hated white people in a very demeaning and hateful voice.....it was just me and one other student in class that was "white". I was furious........I teach to all, I give love to all, I provide a safe atmosphere for all to be themselves. I have never been discriminated at my school for my race. NEVER! They may hate me as a woman, they may hate that I am not going to break the rules for them, but NEVER has the race card been thrown at me. I kicked the kid out and as I wrote him up my hands shook with rage. ANGRY RAGE. Sunday, the grown man lost it in Sunday school, Monday..........a student, that is a repeater of the ninth grade, in my "advisory" class................which is normally a WONDERFUL CLASS......stood up and started yelling at another student, threw off his shirt and put his fists up to hit the kid. I LOST IT. I LOST IT. MY UGLINESS WAS ALL OVER THEM. Seriously, we had just heard a speech by the counselors on abuse and bulling........5 minutes later I am ordering chocolate chunk cookies from a kid and this student goes crazy in my class. IT WAS ENOUGH!
That afternoon I had to go to Jana's room and ask her to pray over me. The word that best describes what was all OVER MY SOUL is "disgust". I was disgusted with the students I teach. I knew I was in a very bad place. That afternoon I had to get on my face before God and just pour out all my anger before him. I had to confess that I was offended friday by the race issues but by monday afternoon I had the race issue and disgust all OVER ME!
Jana said that one of the counselors shared that our school has an evil spirit of violence this year. The minute the words came out of her mouth I knew what I had to do. The spirit of violence is also led by a spirit of racism and a spirit of hatred. I just began to pray that afternoon that our school would be freed from demonic forces in JESUS NAME! I have some cards that have scripture on the front and the proclamation on the back. There is a whole section on Spiritual warfare and I have been clinging to those. Yesterday the students got out at 11.45 so that we could have conferences till 7 pm.......a joke for me since i teach art ha!........so I spent some serious time prayer walking my school. I just read the verses and prayers over and over. I went down every hall and every office.....down every table in the cafeteria....every bathroom. I AM PLEADING FOR GOD TO SILENCE SATAN IN THE NAME OF JESUS. I AM PLEADING WITH HIM TO GIVE US AN ABUNDANCE OF LOVE FOR ONE ANOTHER. I am begging Him to make HIS MIGHTY PRESENCE KNOWN! OH FATHER I KNOW YOU CAN! Please shut down this hatred at school. please!
I'm sick about writing this out. The talk is, that students live in homes where money is tight or non existent and the tension is high. The kids show up at school and for many of them they think that fighting will get the aggression out. I'm just scared about what I am seeing. I have to lean on Father to love them through me....because I am NOT CAPABLE. i can't do it, i can't. I do PRAISE GOD for my students today. Today was a good day......I will continue to pray that God breaks the strongholds killing our students. Has he not come to kill, to steal, and TO DESTROY? Oh yes, and if he can't get at our own walk then he will get at us with those around us.
My second concern is my two missionary friends. Both are so dear to me and both are in the middle of struggles. One in more of an inner struggle and the other getting throw death, sickness, things crashing (computer).........loss of contact. They are both down. One more than the other but I am asking you to lift up my friends L and D. again satan is just wanting believers to feel hopeless and beat down and I AM SICK OF IT. I AM PRAYING JOY AND VICTORY OVER THEM DURING THIS SEASON. THAT THEY WOULD USE THEIR SWORD OF THE SPIRIT TO DEFEND WHAT THEY KNOW IS TRUE!
NOW FOR SOMETHING GOOD.......PTL AFTER ALL THIS DOWNER TALK........
So monday night I was frustrated.......i had taken a hot bath to relax and went into my sun room to get a book. There on the floor was a piece of paper with this verse on it........
"For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie: though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry." Habakkuk 2:3
it was written by someone else and I have never read this verse before....nor do i have any memory of receiving it! I have been studying it all week! It is my new theme verse! ..................other versions below..... i really like to compare, so please take the time to read each one. I know somebody out there feels like/knows that God has given them a vision for something.....but it has not happened yet.
.............."For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay".
.........."It is not yet time for the message to come true, but that time is coming soon; the message will come true. It may seem like a long time, but be patient and wait for it, because it will surely come; it will not be delayed".
..........."For the vision is yet for an appointed time and it hastens to the end [fulfillment]; it will not deceive or disappoint. Though it tarry, wait [earnestly] for it, because it will surely come; it will not be behindhand on its appointed day".
................"This vision-message is a witness pointing to what's coming.It aches for the coming—it can hardly wait! And it doesn't lie. If it seems slow in coming, wait. It's on its way. It will come right on time."
I love how it said that it aches for the coming. God has given me several visions.....some in motion, some I have never seen move......BUT FRIENDS, THEY ARE ON THEIR WAY! I am claiming this today. I hope this verse speaks comfort to you. The last few days my heart has been dealing with absorbing negative and the purging of negative. "why am i still here Lord....when you have called me to this....." somehow, in God's amazing way, He delivered a hand written verse that spoke directly to me......."caroline, if it seems slow in coming, wait. It's on its way. It will come RIGHT ON TIME."
But for now....... I am in battle mode. I am daily putting on the Armor of God and sharping my sword so that I can slice satan and his attacks. My classroom will HONOR GOD.......NOT BUTS ABOUT IT! Father, this week is about standing my ground and speaking your truth. Thank you for getting that ugly anger out of me. Thank you for cleansing me. Father, make us battle ready! Bring to mind YOU LIVING WORD as we come up against trials and attacks. Protect us in Jesus Name!
sing with me........
My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness;
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly lean on Jesus’ name.
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand
All other ground is sinking sand.
When darkness veils His lovely face,
I rest on His unchanging grace;
In every high and stormy gale,
My anchor holds within the veil.
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand
All other ground is sinking sand.
His oath, His covenant, His blood
Support me in the whelming flood;
When all around my soul gives way,
He then is all my hope and stay.
When He shall come with trumpet sound,
Oh, may I then in Him be found;
Dressed in His righteousness alone,
Faultless to stand before the throne.
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand
All other ground is sinking sand!!
I WANT SO MUCH TO BE ABLE TO THROW SOME PICTURES UP HERE AND TELL A FUNNY STORY. I AM A SANGUINE! WE LOVE DEEPLY AND FREELY AND LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST.................but friends, I am just in an ugly season and I can't hide it even if I wanted to. So please pray me through this time. PLEASE. It is just for now. I can't shake it so I'm just gonna write it out.
I have several things on my mind. One personal, one missional....a few.... just thoughts. Friday a kid turned to me, during class, and yelled that he hated white people in a very demeaning and hateful voice.....it was just me and one other student in class that was "white". I was furious........I teach to all, I give love to all, I provide a safe atmosphere for all to be themselves. I have never been discriminated at my school for my race. NEVER! They may hate me as a woman, they may hate that I am not going to break the rules for them, but NEVER has the race card been thrown at me. I kicked the kid out and as I wrote him up my hands shook with rage. ANGRY RAGE. Sunday, the grown man lost it in Sunday school, Monday..........a student, that is a repeater of the ninth grade, in my "advisory" class................which is normally a WONDERFUL CLASS......stood up and started yelling at another student, threw off his shirt and put his fists up to hit the kid. I LOST IT. I LOST IT. MY UGLINESS WAS ALL OVER THEM. Seriously, we had just heard a speech by the counselors on abuse and bulling........5 minutes later I am ordering chocolate chunk cookies from a kid and this student goes crazy in my class. IT WAS ENOUGH!
That afternoon I had to go to Jana's room and ask her to pray over me. The word that best describes what was all OVER MY SOUL is "disgust". I was disgusted with the students I teach. I knew I was in a very bad place. That afternoon I had to get on my face before God and just pour out all my anger before him. I had to confess that I was offended friday by the race issues but by monday afternoon I had the race issue and disgust all OVER ME!
Jana said that one of the counselors shared that our school has an evil spirit of violence this year. The minute the words came out of her mouth I knew what I had to do. The spirit of violence is also led by a spirit of racism and a spirit of hatred. I just began to pray that afternoon that our school would be freed from demonic forces in JESUS NAME! I have some cards that have scripture on the front and the proclamation on the back. There is a whole section on Spiritual warfare and I have been clinging to those. Yesterday the students got out at 11.45 so that we could have conferences till 7 pm.......a joke for me since i teach art ha!........so I spent some serious time prayer walking my school. I just read the verses and prayers over and over. I went down every hall and every office.....down every table in the cafeteria....every bathroom. I AM PLEADING FOR GOD TO SILENCE SATAN IN THE NAME OF JESUS. I AM PLEADING WITH HIM TO GIVE US AN ABUNDANCE OF LOVE FOR ONE ANOTHER. I am begging Him to make HIS MIGHTY PRESENCE KNOWN! OH FATHER I KNOW YOU CAN! Please shut down this hatred at school. please!
I'm sick about writing this out. The talk is, that students live in homes where money is tight or non existent and the tension is high. The kids show up at school and for many of them they think that fighting will get the aggression out. I'm just scared about what I am seeing. I have to lean on Father to love them through me....because I am NOT CAPABLE. i can't do it, i can't. I do PRAISE GOD for my students today. Today was a good day......I will continue to pray that God breaks the strongholds killing our students. Has he not come to kill, to steal, and TO DESTROY? Oh yes, and if he can't get at our own walk then he will get at us with those around us.
My second concern is my two missionary friends. Both are so dear to me and both are in the middle of struggles. One in more of an inner struggle and the other getting throw death, sickness, things crashing (computer).........loss of contact. They are both down. One more than the other but I am asking you to lift up my friends L and D. again satan is just wanting believers to feel hopeless and beat down and I AM SICK OF IT. I AM PRAYING JOY AND VICTORY OVER THEM DURING THIS SEASON. THAT THEY WOULD USE THEIR SWORD OF THE SPIRIT TO DEFEND WHAT THEY KNOW IS TRUE!
NOW FOR SOMETHING GOOD.......PTL AFTER ALL THIS DOWNER TALK........
So monday night I was frustrated.......i had taken a hot bath to relax and went into my sun room to get a book. There on the floor was a piece of paper with this verse on it........
"For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie: though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry." Habakkuk 2:3
it was written by someone else and I have never read this verse before....nor do i have any memory of receiving it! I have been studying it all week! It is my new theme verse! ..................other versions below..... i really like to compare, so please take the time to read each one. I know somebody out there feels like/knows that God has given them a vision for something.....but it has not happened yet.
.............."For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay".
.........."It is not yet time for the message to come true, but that time is coming soon; the message will come true. It may seem like a long time, but be patient and wait for it, because it will surely come; it will not be delayed".
..........."For the vision is yet for an appointed time and it hastens to the end [fulfillment]; it will not deceive or disappoint. Though it tarry, wait [earnestly] for it, because it will surely come; it will not be behindhand on its appointed day".
................"This vision-message is a witness pointing to what's coming.It aches for the coming—it can hardly wait! And it doesn't lie. If it seems slow in coming, wait. It's on its way. It will come right on time."
I love how it said that it aches for the coming. God has given me several visions.....some in motion, some I have never seen move......BUT FRIENDS, THEY ARE ON THEIR WAY! I am claiming this today. I hope this verse speaks comfort to you. The last few days my heart has been dealing with absorbing negative and the purging of negative. "why am i still here Lord....when you have called me to this....." somehow, in God's amazing way, He delivered a hand written verse that spoke directly to me......."caroline, if it seems slow in coming, wait. It's on its way. It will come RIGHT ON TIME."
But for now....... I am in battle mode. I am daily putting on the Armor of God and sharping my sword so that I can slice satan and his attacks. My classroom will HONOR GOD.......NOT BUTS ABOUT IT! Father, this week is about standing my ground and speaking your truth. Thank you for getting that ugly anger out of me. Thank you for cleansing me. Father, make us battle ready! Bring to mind YOU LIVING WORD as we come up against trials and attacks. Protect us in Jesus Name!
sing with me........
My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness;
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly lean on Jesus’ name.
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand
All other ground is sinking sand.
When darkness veils His lovely face,
I rest on His unchanging grace;
In every high and stormy gale,
My anchor holds within the veil.
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand
All other ground is sinking sand.
His oath, His covenant, His blood
Support me in the whelming flood;
When all around my soul gives way,
He then is all my hope and stay.
When He shall come with trumpet sound,
Oh, may I then in Him be found;
Dressed in His righteousness alone,
Faultless to stand before the throne.
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand
All other ground is sinking sand!!