Fear, worry......sin
"All things are lawful for me", but not all things are profitable. "All things are lawful for me", but I will not be mastered by anything" 1 Cor 6:12
When Paul wrote this to the people in Corinth it was because of their attitude towards sin. They thought that because their sins were covered, then it was ok to do as they wished! Untrue. Yes I am free from sin and no longer under the law but too much of anything can lead right back to sin. If you would allow me to explain and be totally transparent with you, it would be greatly appreciated!
This is the house that I feel the Lord has provided for me as of right now................
As I tried to go to bed last night, I became very aware that I was under spiritual warfare. The longer I was there the heavier my heart got, literally, and the faster my pulse raced. At one point heart burn was added and that was when I knew that evil was very present around me! I immediately went in to my "I am a child of God, I have be bought with price, and I am covered by His blood. Now satan you must flee from me NOW IN THE NAME OF JESUS"......followed by every possible verse that was written on my heart! "it is for freedom that Christ has sent you free, stand firm then and do not let yourselves be burdened again by slavery"....followed by many more. Then the Holy Spirit just began to speak words to me of how I had taken a "good thing" like "waiting on the Lord" to an extreme and it had slowly turned into out right FEAR and UGLY WORRY!!!!! And people I mean FEAR AND WORRY!!!!!!! There was nothing nice about last night! I was yelling against evil and fighting him with my scripture swords. I had to confess with everything that I had that I was utterly afraid and in need of saving.
At 1 pm today I received a call that Waxahachie has many foreclosures and has now been called a declining town or something like that. Lots of other details but basically I now have to come up with a larger amount of money in a short time. Had this call come yesterday......I think I would have fallen apart. But I know, that I know.........
"Rejoice in the Lord always.
I share all this because I need you to know that should this house fall through and I am left without a place to live..........the Lord will still provide. I share all this so that you know that I am praying this does not work out because that would be the easy thing to do. To just get out. But I know that prayer won't be answered. Why? because our God is very interested in us leaning on Him as He leads the way. He will either chose to provide the money or not! Simple as that. Either way, after what I went through last night.........I only want Him. A house without His blessing is a dead house. I would rather fall on my face in front of everyone and look like a fool than spend another day trying to live without Him!
Father, I thank you ahead of time for the provision you will supply. Increase our faith and trust in you. I am desperate for your totally guidance of my life!
When Paul wrote this to the people in Corinth it was because of their attitude towards sin. They thought that because their sins were covered, then it was ok to do as they wished! Untrue. Yes I am free from sin and no longer under the law but too much of anything can lead right back to sin. If you would allow me to explain and be totally transparent with you, it would be greatly appreciated!
This is the house that I feel the Lord has provided for me as of right now................
As I tried to go to bed last night, I became very aware that I was under spiritual warfare. The longer I was there the heavier my heart got, literally, and the faster my pulse raced. At one point heart burn was added and that was when I knew that evil was very present around me! I immediately went in to my "I am a child of God, I have be bought with price, and I am covered by His blood. Now satan you must flee from me NOW IN THE NAME OF JESUS"......followed by every possible verse that was written on my heart! "it is for freedom that Christ has sent you free, stand firm then and do not let yourselves be burdened again by slavery"....followed by many more. Then the Holy Spirit just began to speak words to me of how I had taken a "good thing" like "waiting on the Lord" to an extreme and it had slowly turned into out right FEAR and UGLY WORRY!!!!! And people I mean FEAR AND WORRY!!!!!!! There was nothing nice about last night! I was yelling against evil and fighting him with my scripture swords. I had to confess with everything that I had that I was utterly afraid and in need of saving. I don't seem to lack faith in to many areas...that is just one of the spiritual gifts Father has given me...not something that I do, but what HE DOES through me....however, the area of money has always been a place that I struggle with. HUGE STRUGGLE. Does anyone know what I am talking about? And I am not talking tithing here....giving God's money back to Him. That is not an issue for me. No, my area of crazy and flat out disobedient trust is in major issues of money. like doctor, dentist, car......major money expenses that just pop up. I am not good with money! I'm even worse with paper work. Praise God I am better than I use to be but I need you to know that I am lacking in stewardship of money so bad that I can't even stand myself sometimes. So I am praying for some serious change.
So what happened last night was a result of me allowing satan more and more room this past week to rub that major insecurity of mine so bad that I became consumed with worry. Worry of where the money is going to come from for this house and all the fees. Worry over the fact that it would be so much easier if Father would just stop this whole mess! So consumed that the last two days prayer and saying words out loud to Father were hard. So consumed that I physically hurt. As I began to cry out to Him, call out to Him.....the weight left. I LOVE THAT ABOUT MY FATHER. HE IS ALWAYS THERE TO RESCUE ME! HE IS NOT LIKE MAN...HE DOESN'T SAY SUCK IT UP AND MOVE ON!!! NO, HE HEARS ME AND HE SAVES ME FROM EVIL!!!!!!!!! I love love love that the word of GOD IS ALIVE! I love that when I am under attack that He has granted us POWER TO SPEAK HIS WORD AND SATAN MUST FLEE!!!!!!!!!! Oh I love you Lord.
By the time I fell asleep I had just really committed my thoughts to the Lord. That He would take captive every area of my brain. I know that money or really the lack of it, makes me feel out of control. I know that it is an area that satan hits time and time again because I feel insecure without it or I feel bad that I didn't save enough. I know all this, so know I have to do something about it. Because last night I was in flat out sin. No, covered in the sin of worry is more like it. I have to chose to TRUST GOD. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart". I have to chose to not pick up the yoke of slavery and put it around my neck. I have to chose to stop and pray the minute my blood pressure goes up and I feel like this house money will never come together! I have to tell Father that He is God over this situation. I am not god over it, HE IS! I hate hate hate carrying around unconfessed sin. I hate it! It gets heavier and heavier and to be honest, confession is so much easier if pride can be put aside. I allowed unconfessed sin of worry to last one to many days and ladies it is for FREEDOM that Christ has set us free! Father, disciple me more in my prayer time, in my stewardship of the money you provide. Make me more aware of my sin. I don't want it! I don't want to carry it. Thank you that you take it the minute I lay it at your feet. I Praise You for that!
By the time I fell asleep I had just really committed my thoughts to the Lord. That He would take captive every area of my brain. I know that money or really the lack of it, makes me feel out of control. I know that it is an area that satan hits time and time again because I feel insecure without it or I feel bad that I didn't save enough. I know all this, so know I have to do something about it. Because last night I was in flat out sin. No, covered in the sin of worry is more like it. I have to chose to TRUST GOD. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart". I have to chose to not pick up the yoke of slavery and put it around my neck. I have to chose to stop and pray the minute my blood pressure goes up and I feel like this house money will never come together! I have to tell Father that He is God over this situation. I am not god over it, HE IS! I hate hate hate carrying around unconfessed sin. I hate it! It gets heavier and heavier and to be honest, confession is so much easier if pride can be put aside. I allowed unconfessed sin of worry to last one to many days and ladies it is for FREEDOM that Christ has set us free! Father, disciple me more in my prayer time, in my stewardship of the money you provide. Make me more aware of my sin. I don't want it! I don't want to carry it. Thank you that you take it the minute I lay it at your feet. I Praise You for that!
At 1 pm today I received a call that Waxahachie has many foreclosures and has now been called a declining town or something like that. Lots of other details but basically I now have to come up with a larger amount of money in a short time. Had this call come yesterday......I think I would have fallen apart. But I know, that I know.........
"Rejoice in the Lord always.
Again I say rejoice!
May your gentleness be evident to all.
The Lord is NEAR!
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer
and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
And the PEACE OF GOD, which transcends all understanding,
will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right,
whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things.
Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me,
or seen in me-put it into practice.
And the GOD OF PEACE will be with you." Phil 4-9
I share all this because I need you to know that should this house fall through and I am left without a place to live..........the Lord will still provide. I share all this so that you know that I am praying this does not work out because that would be the easy thing to do. To just get out. But I know that prayer won't be answered. Why? because our God is very interested in us leaning on Him as He leads the way. He will either chose to provide the money or not! Simple as that. Either way, after what I went through last night.........I only want Him. A house without His blessing is a dead house. I would rather fall on my face in front of everyone and look like a fool than spend another day trying to live without Him!
Father, I thank you ahead of time for the provision you will supply. Increase our faith and trust in you. I am desperate for your totally guidance of my life!